5 weeks, 1 day

Yep, I am 5 weeks and 1 day pregnant today! It's still incredibly surreal, we have been trying for almost 2 years to get here and then it happens and now I'm not sure what to do with myself.

Overall I have been feeling really good, although my body has definitely informed me something new is taking place. I think it's too early in the game to make the bold statement that I am not a victim of morning sickness....but so far so good.  I am however the victim of overwhelming fatigue that strikes at 1:30pm on the dot everyday (and I mean some major FA-TIGUE! It's like I have bricks on my eyelids and my body feels 100 lbs heavier)....followed by 4 am insomnia. I have a few other little things that kindly remind me that I am indeed pregnant but I really can't complain too much and I am hoping it stays that way.......I am so so grateful to be pregnant though that I am prepared to embrace every symptom that comes my way! Haha, at least that's what I say now.

Ok now for the sappy stuff..........
My husband, Frankie, has been amazing. I have been a emotional wreak this last week (to put it lightly), I think it's half hormones and half the overwhelming changes to our lives overnight......he has shown me incredible understanding and compassion that I really needed. I have never appreciated him quite as much as I have in the last week and a half. Earlier this week he came home with a sweet card and a pregnancy book. It is really nice to see him get excited about us being pregnant, it makes me so happy and so grateful.

Less than 2 weeks until our first ultrasound!

Where did we leave off?

Well lets see where did we leave off?  Oh yes, the lovely cramps I woke up to on Mother's Day morning.  That was a less than nice surprise.

I had so many adorable ideas if I was pregnant this month.....one of them being to tell my mom and mother-in-law that they were going to be grandma's....no suck luck. Mother's Day came and went and I didn't get to share that news.  My husbands 29th birthday is the 14th of this month also and I was planning on taking a test and if it was positive keeping it a secret until his birthday and then wrapping up a little newborn onesie that reads "I love my daddy" or something equally corny and cute.  I mean when you have been trying for almost 2 years you have a lot of time to think about these things.....all the cute ways you'll tell everyone, how you'll surprise your husband with a candlelit dinner and a positive pregnancy test. 



But........





the reality is on Monday when I saw this....................

All I could do was this......................

This isn't really from the day but I promise my reaction was similar with a few tears added, some intense shaking causing it to be difficult to even call my husband and a couple screams that had my dog a little concerned.

And sing this.....................

"Finally it has happened to me
Right in front of my face
My feelings can't describe it

Finally it has happened to me
Right in front of my face
And I just cannot hide it

Finally
Ooooooooh finally yeah yeah
Oh....................."

That was 2 days ago and pretty much everyone knows already.  I know, I know....you're suppose to wait until you're at least 12 weeks along in case anything happens. The problem with that is our family, friends, co-workers, friends of friends and even some complete strangers have become quite invested in our fertility struggles so we get questioned about it frequently.....for me daily. So it is hard to keep it a secret when everyone knows we are mid fertility treatment. To be honest I wasn't even quite aware of how much people were rooting for us until I started sharing the news.....the response was heartwarming and really special.......hugs, tears, jumping up and down, singing and some LOUD screams. It made me glad we choose to let people know this soon because anyone that is that happy for us to get pregnant, I want them to be there if *god forbid* something goes wrong.  My husband, Frankie (his name has been a blog secret until now!) is just as excited and happy as I am. When he says goodnight or goodbye he now says "I love you both". I am so excited to see him as a daddy!  My best friend, Meghan, who is a mommy to a very adorable 9 month little girl, has already got me the What to Expect When You're Expecting book. I have wanted to own that book foooorrreverrrr but wanted it to be something I got only after I knew I was pregnant. The first chapter is "before you conceive".........ya I think I could have a Masters degree in that chapter thank you.....skip!!

So I'm currently on cloud 9 and feeling great. I don't feel "pregnant" but I do feel a little different....I have been having some slight cramping (which I was told is perfectly normal) and "twinges" and I feel just slightly "off" but I am embracing every bit of it. I had a beta HCG lab draw yesterday to confirm what the 4 different home pregnancy tests (all 4 different brands because I didn't believe my eyes until the 4th one) told me.....I am indeed pregnant.  My beta level at 11 dpiui (days past IUI) was 62.5, which the nurse at my RE's office said was great since most people won't even have a positive test yet. My book tells me it should be anywhere from 5-50 at 3 weeks and I am 3 weeks, 6 days today.  I have another repeat beta on Friday to make sure my levels are doubling every 48 hours.  At 7 weeks I will have my first ultrasound and then my RE will release me to OB care.  I have fingers TIGHTLY crossed and saying my prayers that everything goes great and we have a healthy 9 months followed by a healthy baby.  I will admit it is a little nerve racking and I hope once I get my second beta level and hear the heartbeat I can relax a little......but I don't think we will be able to hear the heartbeat until 10 weeks, 6 more weeks.

I took some belly pictures today just for comparison later.  I assure you any lumps and bumps you see are au naturale.....currently what is in my tummy is only the size of a poopy seed.  We'll call this 4 weeks (since tomorrow is technically 4 weeks).

Don't judge my sweat pants it's 7:30am and my day off.

Well looks like hopefully this blog is going to be a pregnancy blog, at least until around 1-19-11.....my estimated due date.

  

10 dpiui

Well I guess I should have watched what I wish for....I feel something now....and that something is cramps!
I woke up this morning with cramps. I'm assuming that means my period is on it's way......and possibly early. 

SHIT.

Not exactly what I had in mind for "Mother's" day.    Figures.

I feel....NOTHING!

So today is officially 8 dpiui ("days past IUI" for you rookies) and I feel nothing! For about the first 5 days after my IUI I was so so so bloated, so so so tired.....  (for example: we went to a friends last weekend on Saturday night to watch the UFC fight, at the request of my hubby, and there was a very FULL and very LOUD house full of people and there I was falling asleep on the couch)  ......and feeling so so not normal. I was consistently running a fever everyday but no signs of being "sick", huge boobs, HUGE bloated tummy, and a touch of narcolepsy. Then I woke up on Wednesday and ........NOTHING.  I felt great! Had a ton of energy, clothes fitting wonderful with no more 4 month pregnant tummy.

Feeling good has never been so disappointing.  Because I'm sure pregnancy should feel....I don't know, like something right?  I mean shouldn't I be throwing up on myself or running to the bathroom to pee every 5 mins, or eating rocky road and pickle sundaes?? I know that's not realistic and I know sooooo many people don't really "feel" pregnant until a little later but I have always imagined when I got pregnant I would just KNOW....I find it hard to believe I wouldn't.

So I am pretty sure I had a touch of OHSS (ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome). This is common among women taking fertility medication and although Clomid has a lower risk of OHSS, since I already ovulate and have normal hormone levels without medication the Clomid just increases everything. I had a feeling that is what all my symptoms were from (since obviously I can't have pregnancy symptoms the first 5 days after IUI but a girl can hope right??!!) and I am suppose to contact my RE if I have any symptoms of OSHH but I opted not too since I knew my situation wasn't severe so they won't really do anything other then monitor me and make me have a million ultrasounds at $125 a pop,  so not thank you I'll be just fine.

I went to the dollar store yesterday and bought 5 pregnancy tests....yes 5! And I will probably take a test everyday until it either becomes positive or my lovely period arrives...(because I'm crraaaaazz-yea, but crazy in a fun way, not like a lock me up in a padded room sorta way) which means I very well may be making another trip to the dollar store soon. And in case you're wondering yes the dollar store pregnancy tests really do work, I've done a ton of research on them and they work almost as well as the First Response tests that cost considerably more.  I have never had a false positive with them but HAVE had false positives with Clearblue dye tests.....and they are EX-PEN-SIVE! They have horrible evaporation lines that show up almost instantly and since they are blue dye tests it is hard to tell if they are faint blue lines or grey evaporation lines. In fact any blue dye tests are horrible, I had a false positive with another brand (can't remember which one) that even my husband was convinced was a positive.....Much to our disappointment a First Response showed not even a shadow of a line and that day I swore off blue dye tests forever.

On a happy note throughout all of my possible pregnancy anxiety I have kept a pretty positive attitude and I am still holding out hope for a miracle!  The hubby and me had a great weekend this last weekend, the weather was gorgeous (which is miracle all in it's self in Washington) and so we had a play day downtown Seattle followed by a productive day on Sunday in the garden.  On Wednesday I got to spend another sunny day with my mom in Snohomish, a cute little town filled with adorable boutiques and fun antique stores. It was her 57th birthday (if she knew I was announcing that on my blog I'm sure she'd kill me! If you ever read this... sorry mom, love you!!) and I only hope that at her age I look half as good. Maybe for Mother's day (in 2 days) I will be able to tell her she's going to be a grandma.....one can hope, because how cute would that be?!