Half way there!!

I am 20 weeks today and I have to be honest and say......I absolutely love being pregnant!! It has its moments, don't get me wrong and there was a time in the beginning when I was nauseous and barley had energy to get out of bed that I sobbed to my husband that I wasn't sure if I wanted to be pregnant anymore.....I can't believe I ever said that now. I am head over heels in love with my little one already and can't imagine not getting to experience EVERYTHING that pregnancy brings. Overall I feel great! I am having some slight discomfort at night trying to get comfortable and I think I may have some mild Braxton Hicks contractions but nothing that I can't handle and I actually feel pretty lucky to be feeling so good.

~20 week belly~

We had out 18 week ultrasound on 8-18-11 and we are so proud to say we are having a little.....girl!! 
We are 99% set on the name, Olivia Lin.
When the tech was performing the ultrasound and said she knew what the sex was......followed by a long pause........I started tearing up instantly and knew that boy or girl it didn't make a difference in the world as long as the baby was healthy.....and she is very healthy and perfect in every way. I even got to count all five fingers on her tiny hand via the ultrasound!

In true "Holly" style I instantly started the shopping frenzy and bought her a outfit the night of the ultrasound, when I got home from work that day to let my husband know we were operation shopping I was surprised to find out he had bought her a little outfit already that said "daddy's cutie"......I held back the tears but it made me want to cry seeing how excited he was too. The shopping has continued since that day and I am currently putting myself in shopping timeout for a little while....at least until I see a deal that couldn't possibly be ignored.....hehe.

This little one is quite the mover and in the last 2 weeks I have REALLY been feeling her move around. Kicks on the right side and seconds later more kicks on the left. Most days she is active from almost the time I wake up until a few hours before I go to bed……already on mommy’s schedule, what a good girl. Most recently today I started to be able really feel some movement from the outside also and I cannot wait until Frankie gets to feel her moving around in there!

Frankie is officially back on a carrier in Bremerton and  the ship doesn't pull into its homeport, Everett, until December. After some research we found that it would be practically impossible for him to commute back and forth daily and I'm sad to say that he is staying in Bremerton Mon-Fri and is only able to come home on the weekends. I didn't think it would be so bad, I mean we both work all week anyway so we really only see each other for awhile before it's off to bed.......I really took for granted those couple hours and unconscious moments he was around me.  I miss him soooooo much. This will be week 3 and I have spent a good majority of that time crying. I depend on my husband more than I thought.....and not depend on him in a way that I can't get things done without him, but emotionally I count on him to come home to at the end of a hard day and to sleep next to at night.....yes even with the TV light's blaring & causing me insomnia and him stealing the covers and the fact that he lets the dog on the bed, I miss it all. His schedule is still up in the air and even though there is a "schedule" things rarely stay the same when planned for months down the road. Regardless, the fact that he is gone all week was nothing compared to the blow that the schedule that is currently out says he has to deploy for a month the day before my due date. I can’t and won't imagine giving birth to our child without my husband by my side....I know women have to do it all the time and I know that we choose this lifestyle but I'm not most women, and I would never "choose" this.  We choose to give ourselves and our children the best future we could and nothing comes without some cons but this is one I cannot live with. I am praying and hoping that we end up not having to worry about any of this and that the schedule changes. In the instance it does not, Frankie is requesting to stay behind, (sometimes that works, sometimes not) and if that fails I will ask to be induced a little early (even though I really wanted to avoid being induced at all costs) as long as it wouldn’t put the baby at risk of course.

I am not going to spend the next 20 weeks dwelling on what “could happen” so I am going to continue to enjoy ever little moment of this pregnancy and my time with my handsome husband.