I'll admit I can sometimes seem to find the possible down side of everything. It's not really that i am a negative person, although I think that is what people sometimes mistake it for. Really it's more that I don't handle surprise well, or disappointment......haha ya I'm a tad emotionally high maintenance! Anyway I figure if I think of all the things that could go wrong and verbalize them, if it ends up happening I won't be surprised and I can say "well I knew that COULD happen". It's easier for me that way, don't get me wrong I think of all the wonderful things that as possible too and I am hoping for that all the time but I have to keep myself from investing too much in that or the let down for me is difficult. I suppose it's a defense mechanism.
Where am I going with this right?!?!
Okay so with this whole, husband leaving for 6 months, trying to get pregnant, trying to lose weight (a whole other HUGE....literally....topic), I needed something to take all the pressure off, something to look forward to. I wanted a situation that I could look at from either way and the outcome was a positive one, no negatives.
So I have a plan. Yep, yet another plan in the works. We have decided, after getting the green light to proceed with IUI, that we are going to do 3 IUI's before the hubby leaves. One in April, May & June, we will wait until April so that my due date can be after he comes home (April will be cutting it close!). If I end up pregnant, WONDERFUL, AMAZING, FANTASTIC!! It will keep my mind somewhat preoccupied with my hubby being gone and give me something to focus on (which is very important) and we will be so so happy. I will keep amazing track of the pregnancy so that my husband can be involved with every step, recording ultrasounds, belly pics along the way. It will a wonderful happy time.
If I do not become pregnant then we are planning a WONDERFUL, AMAZING, FANTASTIC trip to Hawaii, we're going to stay on the beach, drink Mai Tai's, sex on the beach (ya I'll sure we'll have the drink also), swim in the ocean, go to a luau, do all the amazing site seeing, and I'm going to shop for a new Hawaii wardrobe. And I will have 6 months to perfect a great beach body to take along also. And when we get back from paradise we'll either do 3 more IUI's then IVF or just jump to IVF, whatever we feel comfortable with.
So in the meantime I have until approximately April 22nd until my first IUI, that is 66 days away and the truth is that I need to get my body in better shape to carry a baby. In a perfect world I should lose about 30 pounds but I know that's unrealistic in 66 days. So I AM going to lose at least 15 lbs by April 22nd, that will put me at a MUCH healthier weight. And it's a realistic goal, 1.6 pounds a week. I CAN do that, I just have to try. I'm not waiting until tomorrow, or Monday, I'm starting today.
It's a beautiful day and I think I'm going to go have some breakfast, take my dog and a walk while listening to my ipod and day dreaming about morning sickness and Hawaii beaches.
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